She couldn't have done it.

I felt absolutely BEAUTIFUL on Saturday at my bridal shower but that hasn't been the usual lately.

I'll be honest- I can feel what the stress is doing to my body.

Between getting everything finalized for the wedding on top of a hectic schedule- I have not been myself.

I've been more emotional, anxious, swelling has increased, sleep has decreased, and I have really had to dig deep to keep up the habits that are best for me.

Stress increase means increase of PCOS symptoms for me. My hirsutism has increased too and my ovulation is later than usual.

I am so happy that I get to experience this special time but it has been hard too.

Which has lead to guilt.

A dream of mine is coming true and it makes you realize how happy and "unhappy" you can be at the same time.

My personality and want for it all to be perfect has lead to stress which leads to physical reactions which leads to feeling insecure and annoyed with myself.

A domino effect if you will.

Yesterday afternoon I was really feeling and my stomach physically hurt.

I had to talk myself into working out and reminding myself who the fuck I am.

Like literally I was like "Bitch, you are Rebekah LeeAnn Crawford (soon to be Anderson). You have lost over 100 pounds, worked out through panic attacks, done 75 Hard twice, and been through some shit. Get up and move now"

And I did.

I got up, put on my favorite black Nike and Lululemon pairing, made my electrolyte and creatine mix, and braided my hair.

Braiding my hair means BUSINESS.

Got to the studio to talk with Amy about some exciting stuff we are announcing soon and got set up for class.

I told myself that I had made it and to give it my all.

Snapped a selfie after class last night because I already knew the vibes for today's blog!

I felt a little anxious but I knew if I did it then I would feel so much better.

My body didn't feel great but I knew I was still just as strong as before I started feeling off.

I kicked ass in that class if I do say so myself and then stayed for the second one.

I had to remind myself how far I have come and that I am different now.

Bekah before weight loss couldn't have pushed herself like I can now.

I am not that person anymore.

I felt 100% better after classes.

Mentally and physically.

Seriously, I'm not kidding when I say that working out keeps me sane and healthy.

I know even if I'm not losing as much weight as I want to be right now and not seeing as much as a difference in the mirror that working out is necessary.

I know I would be worse if I quit or had never found fitness.

I don't even want to know what life would look like.

I know that I will and need to keep going.

I hope this has helped you realize the same.

Like Amy said in class- we are ALL going through something and fitness helps us each in such a unique way. It only adds to our lives!!

Thank you for reading and I hope that at least someone finds this relatable!

Also, I have had quite a few people ask if we are registered anywhere for the wedding. Can't believe we will be husband and wife in 44 days!!

We are not but we do have a wedding website where you can leave a note or leave a monetary gift in our honeymoon and home fund!

It is linked here- https://www.honeyfund.com/site/anderson-crawford-09-25-2025

Thank you all for your constant support and love!!

Until next Tuesday xx