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On Tuesday evening the negative side of my brain won for quite a few hours.

Around 3 or 4 I just slid into a mood due to stressing myself out and then class was smaller than usual. Quite a few people messaged right before class letting us know they had something come up. The room was unbalanced and I needed to move spots for the flow of it all.

Well, the spiral began. I was already in a down mood then I was right in front of the mirrors, I was doing everything backwards, and I was just struggling.

I felt flabby and dumb then felt even worse for feeling this. I, also, thought everyone was mad at me- don't ask why. I'd love to explain it.

I was tired and that never helps in moments like this one.

Anyways, I almost had a panic attack during class then thankfully I came to the reality of being there with my sister and everyone.

I finished class then rushed to my usual spot for Ladies Only.

Class went great but I still couldn't fully shake it.

Amy could sense this even though I tried to hide it- she had a rough day too and I make it a point to try to not add to that when possible.

She too needed a minute to just get out of her own head so we went and sat with a beer at Greeks to talk.

We had such a good conversation. It was good for us both and I`m beyond thankful for her.

She asked me if I felt better and I never lie to her. I didn't fully- something was still SO weird.

I could hardly explain my feelings and I was honestly feeling uneasy because nothing was working. I've gotten fairly good at getting out of the headspace with exercise, talking to Amy, reading, etc.

We hugged and I went home. Took a long hot shower and went to bed after a little TikTok scrolling.

Like magic, I woke up feeling COMPLETELY like myself again. I loved what I saw in the mirror, I had a to-do list that excited me, and was looking forward to my breakfast date.

The morning was great, I was able to be productive before breakfast, had a great time, and then was able to accomplish even more before classes.

I did the 5:15 PM and pushed harder than ever. There was even a moment that Amy and I were competing and I WON.

Amy celebrated this after class and we were both really proud. She said that's the hardest I've ever seen you work and I said it was because I'm happy.

She took this picture of me and I'm so thankful she did. She knew proof of my progress and strength would help me in times like the night before.

Went right into the 6:00 PM Hip Hop Pilates class and hardly even modified.

My point is that I had one of the best and and balanced days of my life after dealing with a feeling that made me, in a way, worry I'd never shake it.

I wish I knew why our brains work the way they do. Wouldn't it make life so much easier if we just had all the answers?

Unfortunately, that's not reality.

Life is full of ups and downs.


Weight wise.



And a million other variables.

The best we can do is embrace those ups and downs even when we''re terrified.

Even when you feel like there's never going to be another up.

I'm not saying sit in those moments and quit trying.

I'm saying keep going and keep working through the ups and downs.

It's not always about how you feel- it's about what you do with those feelings.

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